Wonderful things have been happening lately. Weddings! Lots of Weddings! It seems like they are only becoming more and more frequent. Like they can’t stop or won’t stop. It’s just the nature of things when you attend a Christian school and everyone is in a hurry to be married. You are bound to have friends that go in and quickly tie the knot. And all the love that I can give, I bring to them.
I can honestly say that usually I find quick marriages to be very hard and I always look and think it won’t last but all the ones I have attended in the past few months, I can’t say that… I don’t even think it. I don’t know if it is just how beautiful the wedding is in the moment or something entirely different. I truly believe all these weddings I have been a part of the past few months are going to work out and thrive! And if you don’t know what I mean by marrying young, I think the oldest person that was being married was 23, everyone else was younger, and I’ve been to at least 3 weddings these past few months. I don’t know if that is just the norm now-a-days or if it is just the people I know. But like I said, I have no doubts in my mind about them.
I feel like it has been the norm though to try and lead the married life but then turn around and not be committed to it. I don’t want to look up the exact statistics, because it would only be depressing, but I believe almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. And that is a staggering amount. It’s almost as if a culture has been made that look for the quick satisfaction and then simply throw it away when it becomes too much work.
Today, there are those who say that marriage is out of fashion… They say that it is not worth making a life-long commitment, making a definitive decision, ‘for ever’, because we do not know what tomorrow will bring. I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, I ask you to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes you are incapable of responsibility, that believes you are incapable of true love.
Pope Francis at World Youth Day 2013 in Brazil
What I hope all people, especially newlyweds understand, is that marriage is a mutual submission to one another. It is only through this way that a marriage can thrive. It seems like a weird way to live but if done right I believe it can be the most loving marriage out there. In a way, marriage is supposed to try and emulate how God loves. God loves us all wholeheartedly with every fiber of his being, even when we mess up, even when we forget about Him, etc. etc. Forgiveness, understanding, patience… all qualities of God’s love are exactly what every married couple needs.
I am most certainly not any type of marriage expert so really I have no credibility to be spilling out advice. I am solidly into my 22nd year of life, single, and absolutely no plans of being married anytime soon. But I have a vision of how married life should be from books, teachings and most especially from all these past weddings I have seen, some that I have even been very fortunate to have been a part of. I can only hope that one day we all find it (or be swept up into the Religious life, that’s fine too). Find, not just the person that makes us happy in the moment, but the person that we can look at everyday and be entirely devoted to them and think, “How could it be that I have been so blessed?”
And may all young Husbands take St. John Chrysostom’s words to heart as they look at their brides:
I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us… I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.
St. John Chrysostom “On Marriage and the Family Life”